Keep on dreaming

I roll with the punches, I keep people guessing, and I continue on my merry way. Why? No one else is going to do it for me.

I have this strong desire to leave this place, and have had it for a long, long time. I never realized it before, until I remembered what I always wanted [to be] when I grew up.

I never thought of a career as my goal, and never answered those annoying questions with "A doctor! A business lady!" What did I want to be when I grew up, at age 8? "Alone, secure, and far away from here." That was all I hoped for. I was content in working in a bookstore stocking shelves, or in a restaurant bussing tables, as long as I was away from Mama, Detroit, Michigan, and anyone who knew me.

What do I want now? To be away, able to pay my bills, but mainly just away from Michigan. Far, too.

Does that mean I want a new life? Does that mean I hate what I have?
Am I terrible for wanting something that isn't a moment away from the family and friends that I have so closeby, now?

I wonder about this most days.

Fingers-crossed

Today, finally, I helped Seth send a resume and general cover letter to a friend in Seattle. This guy could really change our lives, and really wants to help us... He's gone so far as to tell us that Seth could work for him, and that he'd pass along his CV to colleagues, family and friends in the construction industry.

He cares so much, I can tell. Lots of people would say, "You can stay with me for a few days..." But few would go out of their way to get you a career after graduation, while 2000 miles away.

If something works out on his end, our lives would change drastically. I've never made more than 11k per year, combined with Seth. If he actually got a REAL position... We wouldn't have to live in our super tiny college apt anymore, find a nicer condo and be able to eat more than roman noodles and discount chicken from Walmart.

Honestly at this point, I'd be happy to just live there in whatever studio craphole we could find. But if we don't have to, I might just burst!